so i was walking back to my dorm from an after-party for the show i’m in, and i was all dressed up in a little black dress and heels and stage makeup but i also had my big puffy winter coat on and my backpack. and so i walked by this group of guys and got the greatest cat call ever.
"damn girl is coming from school and the club!”
it was great
whenever someone asks you how old you are, you always say 21.
and if they ask for ID?
you say it's in your bra, you flash them, and you run away
so both tom daley and maria bello have announced, in the past 24 hours, that they are in queer relationships and have been in straight relationships in the past, without actually labeling themselves as gay, but every headline is TOM DALEY COMES OUT AS GAY and MARIA BELLO IS A LESBIAN
the homo/hetero binary is alive and well kids
you know it’s tech week when you buy $50 of makeup and cough drops
my dad just texted me “trust the d” and i know he was talking about football but still
So my cousin Alex was complaining about my cousin Lauren and her brother snapped and was all “DO NOT CALL MY SISTER A FUCKING BITCH” and then my grandma went over to Alex and yelled at him “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEONE CALLED ONE OF YOUR BROTHERS A FUCKING BITCH?!”
so when my mother was pregnant with me, she was a part of a mother’s group, and the other day she and all the mommies met up and discussed their children and apparently all the mothers gawked over how busty their daughters are and were all like “OMG were did these boobies come from” and welp sorry that i’m buxom~
my dad’s side of the family has some pretty fucking crazy history jesus christ i should be recording this shit it’s like fucking soap opera drama goddamn